What does couples therapy involve?
Our couples therapy is based on open dialogue about what the couple considers important and what both individuals want to address.
The therapist's task is not to decide who is right. It is to slow the conversation down, notice patterns, and name what is happening between partners. During sessions, we focus on uncovering the deeper meanings behind what's happening in the relationship. While investigating the root causes of problems isn't the primary focus, it often brings relief and helps in finding new solutions.
Therapists focus on the relationship as a whole, not on judging or advising partners.
We attend not only to what is said, but also to how the conversation unfolds between us.
Areas of focus
Sessions often concentrate on facilitating communication, bringing unspoken issues into the open, and addressing previously neglected feelings or needs. They help identify why communication often breaks down despite good intentions and what each person can do to better express themselves.
For many couples, cyclical mood swings — from hope for the future to feeling separation is inevitable — are a major concern. Often trapped in this cycle for years, couples feel the relationship stagnates and energy is drained. Therapy helps uncover the causes of these fluctuations, the underlying desires or fears, and explores if there's something to build on beyond this cycle.
Uncertainty about staying together or breaking up is a common motivation for seeking therapy. Sessions then focus on uncovering what unites and divides the couple, and what decisions best reflect this reality. For some, this marks the beginning of a new stage where the direction of the relationship and mutual expectations are redefined. At other times, the therapist's role is to provide support in expressing feelings and reactions to separation.
Understanding the impact of the couple's social context and issues related to power dynamics within the relationship is crucial. This is especially relevant for couples from minority groups, mixed couples (in terms of nationality or religion), or relationships deviating significantly from societal norms. Psychotherapy helps these couples identify the exact source of problems, alleviate the feeling that their issues are of their own making, and find ways of coping with difficult external situations.
A couple in crisis
A relationship crisis is a hard experience, and sometimes also a turning point: some couples come through it stronger, for others it becomes clear that they want to part. Therapy does not assume in advance which it will be.
Relationship crises manifest in various ways: arguments, feelings of alienation or loneliness, sexual difficulties, or an atmosphere of resignation and hopelessness. They often involve issues of fidelity, loyalty, lack of understanding, or an inability to decide on a shared future. Sometimes, pinpointing the exact cause is difficult; couples simply feel unhappy and increasingly distant.
Conflicts can also stem from external challenges like illness, grief, fertility struggles, sudden life changes, or parenting difficulties. Therapists help create a safe space for expressing frustration, sadness, or anger in a way that serves the relationship. Together with the couple, they explore what the partners can draw on to support each other through the crisis.
For some couples, the social context is crucial, especially if they face overt or subtle disapproval. This applies to mixed-nationality or interfaith couples, non-heteronormative couples, couples from vastly different backgrounds, or those with significant differences in age or health. Therapy helps them find ways of coping with the challenging external situation.
Couples therapy requires both partners to take part. If one partner does not want to, the other can consider an individual consultation about their own situation in the relationship — with Agnieszka Serafin, with Mikołaj Czyż, or at Therapy Warsaw.